Simple Gift

I have been taking a writing sabbatical of sorts lately.  Sometimes, I felt like I was writing just for the sake of the post, and not because I had anything pressing to say.  But, that changed yesterday…

I mentor a 3rd grade student here in Jessamine County.  In the interest of his anonymity, I won’t tell you the school, and we can just call him D.  This year is the beginning of the third school year that we have spent together.  For 30 minutes each week, I go to D’s school and play with him.  Sometimes we are on the playground, sometimes the gym, sometimes playing a board game that when things start looking bad for him, he finds new rules to slant the game in his favor again.  But, all this to say, that D is my friend.

I wasn’t sure that we would hit it off at first.  Before I met him, I was told by his assistant principal that his dad was in jail for a really long time, and mom was less than involved in his life.  She popped in and out of jail.  When she was in jail, D stayed with his Nana.  So, here I stood outside his classroom in a police uniform expecting to be the bad guy.  But, when the assistant principal introduced D to me, she told him that I was going to come every week to school to hang out with him.  I was immediately wrapped up in one of the biggest embraces I have experienced from a first grader.  I’m not even certain he saw the uniform.

Now, I spent that first year being told that his daddy was faster than me, stronger than me, and could jump higher than me.  I told D that I believed him.  I was not known by any of those attributes.    But our relationship grew over the last couple years.

Fast forward to yesterday.  In general conversation on the playground, I asked D about homework in the 3rd grade.  He was telling me about it, and he said, “My mom said I don’t have to do Tuesday’s homework because we don’t have scissors at the house that aren’t for like  hair cuttin’ and stuff.  No kid scissors.  So, I don’t have to do Tuesday night’s homework because it’s usually cuttin’ stuff out.”  This struck me as odd.  But, I believe about half of what any typical 3rd grader tells me, so I asked him, “So, if you had scissors, you could do Tuesday’s homework each week?”  Without hesitation, he said, “yeah”.

So, when our time was up, I took D back to his classroom and went to the assistant principals office to tell her about our conversation.  I asked her if there were any scissors to be had so I could “take this excuse off the table”.  I really thought he was just being onry and coming up with a silly reason why he couldn’t do his homework.  She gave me a used pair of kid’s scissors and a sharpie marker.  I wrote D’s name on the handles on both sides so there would be no doubt as to whose scissors these were, and I walked them down to his classroom.  I walked over to where he was sitting, handed him the scissors, and said, “These are for you to take home.  Now you can do your homework”.  I expected an eye roll or an “oh man”, but what I got shocked me.  You would have thought that I had just handed D an award.  His mouth fell open, and all he said was “YES!” as he pumped both fists like he had just scored a goal.

Needless to say, I went back and thanked the assistant principal and shared with her the reaction that I got from D.

A fifty cent pair of scissors.  A used pair at that.  Made special by the fact that they were now D’s.  After all, they had his name on them.  And, I realized, that’s what giving is all about.  I promise you, if I would have just walked up and given D fifty cents, he would have given one of the quarters away, and probably lost the other one.  But, not to toot my own horn, I actually spent the time to get to know D before I tried to fulfill any of his needs.  I found out what his need was, and it was surprisingly simple.  I didn’t go in and fulfill what I thought was his needs.  I waited until the relationship showed me a need.  Now, I am not so simple that I believe this fifty cent pair of scissors changed his life and solved all his problems.  D probably won’t be standing at his college graduation thinking about the pair of scissors he received in the third grade, but it was a simple gift that meant something to him because it was a need.

How many of us are too quick to write a check?  How many of us are too busy to take the time to find out what is really needed, so we tell someone else, “If you need anything, let me know”.  We want to write a check and be done.  My friends, God has been showing me that is just not enough!

And, here is what bothers me the most.  School has been in session for 3 weeks or so, and no one thought to give D a pair of scissors.  As I thought about this, I realized, it’s probably because no one expected D to do his homework anyways.  So why would anyone ask him why he wasn’t doing it.  I don’t ask my wife why she didn’t mow the grass, because I don’t expect her to do that job.  I don’t know, for sure, that this is the case with D.  But I do know this.  Kids will strive to live up or down to our expectations.  If you set a bar, they will reach it.  But, will they have to reach up to get it, or will they stumble on it.  Our expectations can sometimes shape their lives.

A simple gift with a profound lesson for me.  Thanks God!

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